Warning: This article may contain strong language, as well as a sense of frustration and ranting of the highest quality.
Player 1: "You've gotta do something about these offsides Ref, this is fucking ridiculous!"
Player 2: "Did you not see him fucking kick me you fucking prick?"
Manager: "I thought linesman weren't supposed to give fouls, what was that all about?"
At this point, my desire to play football has gone and a sense of boredom has consumed my body, as I watch what can only be one of the most irrelevant debates I'll ever see. I would quite simply rather watch 15 minutes of Question Time under the discussion of Horsemeat (which it turns out I probably ate quite a lot of at Uni, and yer, I liked it) than listen to people argue about decisions in a football match which can't be changed. A half-time team talk is no longer a perfect time to bring the team together and discuss what we can improve on in the second period, but a lashing at one man's ability to control a football match.This one man is only a human, a man who has taken time out on a Saturday afternoon, so a bunch of random people can play a game on a field. This man, is a referee.
For one man to get such abuse, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. But in a word, it's pathetic. I always have massive respect for the referee, purely because they can shrug off this on-going barrage of crap that comes in their direction and get on with the game. If players had anywhere near that patience and control, the game would run a hell of a lot smoother.
Now this is where I bring out the phrase "Back in my day blah blah blah" but I really think there is some truth to it here. When I played as a child I loved the game, I wouldn't consider going out Friday or Saturday nights and doing anything in particular, because I knew I had training Saturday morning and the big match Sunday morning. How my week went, would depend on my weekends sport.
Now, to the match situation, I'm being marked by a fat, dedicated centre-half who is giving me lip all game.
"You ain't getting passed me you piece of shit" or "If you win a header off me again I'll kick your fucking head in". You know, standard intimidation. You expect it from a centre-half and you know this guy means business, he is a complete nutter and he is there to make your life a living hell. I wasn't exactly the kind of kid that would answer back, I've always been in the 'let your ability do the talking' camp because let's face it, if I kick the ball in the net, I win, If this centre-half threatens to kill me, I win, because he's clearly frustrated. This was the centre-half-forward relationship that I loved and accepted.
Now we come to the present day, football is still played on a football pitch, there are still two goals and there is still one referee. Things are different though, as my centre-half-forward relationship attempts to develop, it doesn't really kick on. It's like we met up for drinks, had a couple, but then realised very quickly that it didn't have a future. Why you ask? Well the centre half is still big/fat, still likes a bit of lip, but as we're all a little older there's a bit more of an element of respect, which is fine. There is still an attempt at intimidation, which is what I can work with. Then the problem occurs, the first tackle/confrontation/throw-in/free-kick you name it, anything which involves a referee having to make a tight decision.
LET THE MOANING COMMENCE...
My god, everyone loves a moan don't they. This man that I was battling with to build a solid relationship has just ruined it in one foul move. It's like we went out for dinner, ordered the food, he took one bite and spat his mouthful in my face. This big, intimidating sportsman now to me just looks like a big fluffy
teddy bear who I have no need to fear because any controversial decision that goes against him, he just throws his toys out the pram. If these players took half the energy they throw at the referee from out of there mouths and converted it into communication between players, maybe they might improve their abilities as footballers. It's has got to a point where people just argue for the sake of arguing, my personal favourite is offside.
When an offside decision goes against a team, ideally a striker might be a little frustrated as he made the run, he can see along the line, he shouldn't really get it wrong. But nowadays, the world erupts. The striker will lead the attack on the officials with a slight nudge, team mates will then see this and "back him up" by repeating what the striker has said. Mouthy centre-backs will then see this as an opportunity to join in, even though they are at the other side of the pitch and have no clue as to how close the decision was. If the keeper gets involved, words fail me. If people would just think, accept the decision and re-group positionally, maybe we'd all be a little bit happier. Actually, let me re-phrase that, I would be a lot happier. Because when a team likes to surround the ref, surprisingly enough it makes it very difficult to get the shape back in the formation and that is where conceded goals tend to come from.
I don't play football for enjoyment any more, I'm older, I do it for fitness. I have lost the desire to win, the competitiveness I once had. I don't step out onto that pitch thinking this game will shape my week. And who do I blame for that? People. And I worry that if I keep doing this, will I become one of these people? I don't plan on it. But it makes playing the game a hell of a lot less appealing. If I wanted to argue, I would do it about something which is actually worth arguing about.
If there is anyone I argue or question, it is related to myself. I will constantly question what I do on the pitch, whether it be the wrong pass, the wrong run, a poor finish, but it is never directed at others, players or officials. Because what does that achieve? You're either knocking the confidence of your team mate, or getting yourself on the referees "naughty list".
I think in conclusion, what I'm basically trying to say is...
Dear People of Football,
Can you stop moaning please, it's doing my head in.
Yours Sincerely,
Player 8
