Football At Ground Level - What The Hell Happened?

Warning: This article may contain strong language, as well as a sense of frustration and ranting of the highest quality.

Player 1: "You've gotta do something about these offsides Ref, this is fucking ridiculous!"

Player 2: "Did you not see him fucking kick me you fucking prick?"

Manager: "I thought linesman weren't supposed to give fouls, what was that all about?"

At this point, my desire to play football has gone and a sense of boredom has consumed my body, as I watch what can only be one of the most irrelevant debates I'll ever see. I would quite simply rather watch 15 minutes of Question Time under the discussion of Horsemeat (which it turns out I probably ate quite a lot of at Uni, and yer, I liked it) than listen to people argue about decisions in a football match which can't be changed. A half-time team talk is no longer a perfect time to bring the team together and discuss what we can improve on in the second period, but a lashing at one man's ability to control a football match.This one man is only a human, a man who has taken time out on a Saturday afternoon, so a bunch of random people can play a game on a field. This man, is a referee.

For one man to get such abuse, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. But in a word, it's pathetic. I always have massive respect for the referee, purely because they can shrug off this on-going barrage of crap that comes in their direction and get on with the game. If players had anywhere near that patience and control, the game would run a hell of a lot smoother.

Now this is where I bring out the phrase "Back in my day blah blah blah" but I really think there is some truth to it here. When I played as a child I loved the game, I wouldn't consider going out Friday or Saturday nights and doing anything in particular, because I knew I had training Saturday morning and the big match Sunday morning. How my week went, would depend on my weekends sport.

Now, to the match situation, I'm being marked by a fat, dedicated centre-half who is giving me lip all game.
"You ain't getting passed me you piece of shit" or "If you win a header off me again I'll kick your fucking head in". You know, standard intimidation. You expect it from a centre-half and you know this guy means business, he is a complete nutter and he is there to make your life a living hell. I wasn't exactly the kind of kid that would answer back, I've always been in the 'let your ability do the talking' camp because let's face it, if I kick the ball in the net, I win, If this centre-half threatens to kill me, I win, because he's clearly frustrated. This was the centre-half-forward relationship that I loved and accepted.

Now we come to the present day, football is still played on a football pitch, there are still two goals and there is still one referee. Things are different though, as my centre-half-forward relationship attempts to develop, it doesn't really kick on. It's like we met up for drinks, had a couple, but then realised very quickly that it didn't have a future. Why you ask? Well the centre half is still big/fat, still likes a bit of lip, but as we're all a little older there's a bit more of an element of respect, which is fine. There is still an attempt at intimidation, which is what I can work with. Then the problem occurs, the first tackle/confrontation/throw-in/free-kick you name it, anything which involves a referee having to make a tight decision.

LET THE MOANING COMMENCE...

My god, everyone loves a moan don't they. This man that I was battling with to build a solid relationship has just ruined it in one foul move. It's like we went out for dinner, ordered the food, he took one bite and spat his mouthful in my face. This big, intimidating sportsman now to me just looks like a big fluffy
teddy bear who I have no need to fear because any controversial decision that goes against him, he just throws his toys out the pram. If these players took half the energy they throw at the referee from out of there mouths and converted it into communication between players, maybe they might improve their abilities as footballers. It's has got to a point where people just argue for the sake of arguing, my personal favourite is offside.

When an offside decision goes against a team, ideally a striker might be a little frustrated as he made the run, he can see along the line, he shouldn't really get it wrong. But nowadays, the world erupts. The striker will lead the attack on the officials with a slight nudge, team mates will then see this and "back him up" by repeating what the striker has said. Mouthy centre-backs will then see this as an opportunity to join in, even though they are at the other side of the pitch and have no clue as to how close the decision was. If the keeper gets involved, words fail me. If people would just think, accept the decision and re-group positionally, maybe we'd all be a little bit happier. Actually, let me re-phrase that, I would be a lot happier. Because when a team likes to surround the ref, surprisingly enough it makes it very difficult to get the shape back in the formation and that is where conceded goals tend to come from.

I don't play football for enjoyment any more, I'm older, I do it for fitness. I have lost the desire to win, the competitiveness I once had. I don't step out onto that pitch thinking this game will shape my week. And who do I blame for that? People. And I worry that if I keep doing this, will I become one of these people? I don't plan on it. But it makes playing the game a hell of a lot less appealing. If I wanted to argue, I would do it about something which is actually worth arguing about.

If there is anyone I argue or question, it is related to myself. I will constantly question what I do on the pitch, whether it be the wrong pass, the wrong run, a poor finish, but it is never directed at others, players or officials. Because what does that achieve? You're either knocking the confidence of your team mate, or getting yourself on the referees "naughty list".

I think in conclusion, what I'm basically trying to say is...

Dear People of Football,

Can you stop moaning please, it's doing my head in.

Yours Sincerely,

Player 8

My EPL Team of the Year

The football season comes to a close and the ridiculous transfer rumours now take up the back pages. So, what better distraction than to look back over the year and pick my best XI of the season.

Again, these are just my views, feel free to debate. I'll keep a simple 4-4-2 formation, to avoid any slight confusion.

Goalkeeper: Edwin Van der Sar
It was sad that he didn't end his United career with a Champions League trophy in his arms, but his performances for United were consistently impressive. His handling and reflexes were superb for a man of his age and played a massive part in the winning mentality of Man Utd this season. People will argue he had a strong defence in front of him, but when called upon, he did not disappoint.

Right-Back: Kyle Walker
A season which saw this man enter the England squad, Kyle Walker has shown he is more than ready for the Premier League after a highly successful loan spell with Aston Villa. His attacking mentality, which seems evident in most top-class right back's nowadays, has certainly turned some heads. The advantage with Walker is that he is strong as well as quick, and has a real chance of cementing a place in the Tottenham side. What's more, he's young and English, but he will have to up his game if he wants to maintain his spot in the England squad, especially with Micah Richards waiting in the under 21's, a close second it must be said.

Centre-Back: Nemanja Vidic
A predictable choice I am sure. Vidic is a rock at the back which no striker wants to come up against. His aerial ability, leadership and dedication could make him a United legend for years to come. Whether he be at the back with Ferdinand, Smalling or Evans, he controls that back four like his life depends on it. An obvious choice.

Centre-Back: Vincent Kompany
Man City certainly have made the most of having alarmingly rich owners, but among all the star names, Kompany keeps City ticking. Given Mancini's tactics, a substantial amount of pressure is put on the defenders to keep that clean sheet. With Kompany at the back, they have been able to do that. His organisation has pushed Man City to just where they want to be, third place and a Champions League spot.

Left-Back: Ashley Cole
Say what you want about Cole, he has consistently performed for whatever side he has played for. He has attack and defence in his game and will not be shifted from his position at Chelsea in a hurry. He knows what his job is, and he delivers. One of England's few consistent performers over the past couple of years.

Right Midfield: Antonio Valencia
I apologise for now picking three Man Utd players...

But they did win the league.

Valencia may have been out injured for a few months in the season, but when he re-emerged late in the season, he ran riot down the right flank. The combination of strength and pace was nothing short of destructive, not to mention the fact that he can cross. Three key attributes which make the perfect winger. I had my doubts when Man Utd signed him to fill that slot, but he has proved me so wrong.

Centre Midfield: Luka Modric
All the talk at Tottenham this year has been Van der Vaart and Bale. However, this man in the centre of midfield has been genius. His ability to hold on to the ball for such a small player is incredible and very rarely does he miss-place a pass. Spurs may not have managed Champions League football this year, but if they manage to hold on to Modric, their attacking flair will continue to pressurise the top four.

Centre Midfield: Jack Wilshere
The exciting young talent of Wilshere has been talked about constantly this season, and rightly so. His ball carrying ability is brilliant and he should now be an England regular for years to come. He plays football like a boy in a playground with his mates, no sense of pressure and wants to be on the ball as much as he can. England fans suddenly have something to smile about.

Left Midfield: Gareth Bale
Bale did have an on and off season overall, but his initial impact is enough to give him a spot in my side. His performance against Inter Milan was a joy to behold, even though Spurs lost 4-3, it was the start of quite a special season for the Welshman. His acceleration is incredible and not many in the Premier League can keep up with him. It'll be interesting to see if he can maintain his form next season.

Striker: Javier Hernandez
Difficult to avoid picking this man. Surely signing of the season, 'Chicarito' has taken to the Premiership like a duck to water. His composure in front of goal this season is similar to that of team-mate Michael Owen when he first shone in the top league. The question is, can he maintain this for years to come? If he can, the partnership of himself and Wayne Rooney is something that will put fear into the eyes of any defensive unit.

Striker: Carlos Tevez
The Argentinian may not be in the league next season and I am not sure how Manchester City would plan on replacing him next year. He works hard and scores goals and it would be a shame to see him leave. Without him, City don't look half as good in the attacking part of the pitch, any club in the world would be extremely happy to have him in their side. He scored 20 goals from 31 appearances this season, not a bad record at all.

ENGLAND!

That's right. I can't stop myself.

I have read through the BBC feed for the last two hours and I can't actually stop myself from writing about the England team at the moment because so many people's views just make me ridiculously angry.

And I'm honestly sorry, because I hate reading this sort of thing after England games. Everyone thinks they have the answer and that England are either terrible, amazing, dysfunctional, oblivious, fantastic, blah blah blah.

But I really just fancy a rant. Problem is, I have no idea where to start.

I suppose the whole Wilshere, is he holding role/is he not holding role, is he being over-hyped/is he not being over-hyped is a start.

Let's put it this way, he isn't Gareth Barry, which is always a win. Because, as we all know, or we all SHOULD know, he has been sitting in that role for too long now with no impact whatsoever.

Wilshere was brilliant, deserved of praise in the papers, but what I have been reading in the BBC feed is that he didn't play well as a defensive midfielder.

Since when was he ever going to do that? Since when has Barry ever done that for us in the past?

He was a brilliant ball-carrier, lovely touch and not too many miss-placed passes. Obviously, more ideal with a rock like Parker behind him in a say a midfield of five, but against lesser international teams it should be fine.

The other point that caught my eye was people saying Phil McNulty was 'harsh' on his criticism of John Terry. I would say he was being generous.

It was as if Capello had set him on 'More Roaming' on Football Manager. I mean it was as if he wasn't taking it seriously, he has done it at times for Chelsea but not as much as he did in that game.

And while were on the back four, the half-time analysis of the first goal suggesting Dawson was poor with the marking, I think you'll find that was because he had the impossible task of marking three players at the same time. Yes, I am a spurs fan, but to suggest that was solely his fault was outrageous. I would need to look at it again to see who the two guilty players were who left him to take the blame, but I think you might find one of them was Frank Lampard. The experienced letting us down slightly, the theme of the evening, arguably.

Glen Johnson is just awaiting his card membership to join the 'I won't get dropped yet continue to play horrifically for England' club. I would have put Micah Richards, Nedham Onuoha and Kyle Walker ahead of him, yes I know Micah was injured but this would be more for the future. Kenny Dalglish has got it right with playing him at wing-back, but he still, clearly, needs to work on his defending.

Theo Walcott did a superb job on the right and did well to work an assist for Darren Bent. His pace was good and I think it helped playing with Wilshere as they probably know each others games quite well.

I'm going to make a light point about Aaron Lennon not being considered, once again, trying to be neutral. I'm not saying he should start ahead of Walcott, but being omitted completely is ridiculous. He is starting to get back to his best in a Spurs shirt, I don't know whether the World Cup performances are still lingering in Capello's mind, but he is second in line to Walcott at right midfield in my view. Also, I know Roberto Mancini hasn't been starting Adam Johnson (a mind-bender) but I still think he should be getting a call-up.
James Milner, a brilliant performance. One on the bbc feed gave him man of the match, when I had a think about it, he/she might be right. Most of his balls into the box were of good quality and showed no signs of tiring. Him and Walcott switching was good also, especially with the contrast between pace and delivery quality.

Wayne Rooney scored for United at the weekend so were thinking his form has just kicked into gear. Unfortunately, he did not show it for England and hasn't done for a while. But, I can't see him being dropped and I think that is pretty logical. Saying that, Ashley Young played alarmingly well playing just off of Darren Bent. The more I think about it, the more I think that dropping someone like Rooney from the first team is exactly what the aggressive striker needs. Ferguson has done it at times this season, but then he has the quality with Berbatov and Hernandez, what do we have?

In steps Darren Bent, who finally got himself 90 minutes in an England shirt. And another goal. Problem with Bent is, he misses very, very simple chances. This is something you can get away with at club level, but at the international stage, he will get fewer chances and if he stands any chance of maintaining that spot, he needs to take them more regularly. The advantage with this we have competition in this position, Carroll, Defoe, Crouch, Agbonlahor and if he plays anything like he did the other night, Ashley Young.

The one thing I have noticed about England is that we tend to play well we have many players who play at the same club playing together. People are saying that not enough players Englishmen are in the top four, I don't see that as a big issue. Especially as, due to the quality of the league we have in England, we have many players that I would much rather see playing every week for someone such as Sunderland or Aston Villa than be fringe players at Chelsea or Manchester United. 

I think the other thing people need to realise is that if we go to Euro 2012 and get to the quarter-finals, it is a good achievement. The pressure we put on our players is enormous because they know that if they don't perform, they will receive a post-match boo, which Rooney certainly didn't appreciate.

With England, it seems like there are two extremes, England are the best or England are the worst. How about England are somewhere in the middle? How about England had good points and bad points? I think when England are off-form, instead of saying "We'll learn from this and improve", we as the public go immediately to "We are rubbish, this is depressing". We are not the best team in the world, if we come to Euro 2012 and we get to the quarter-finals, I could accept that, but I don't think a large amount of football fans in the country would.

So, I shall end as I began. I am sorry I have resorted to this. But these are my views, do with them what you wish.

The England Football Team: The Ultimate Debate.

Tackling: What's the fuss all about?

I remember watching the World Cup in 2006, shouting at the television, slating all these players for diving at every opportunity possible whenever they were touched. Watching it, I was always under the impression that football was a very manly sport, but this just looked ridiculous.

Then, while watching this years World Cup, I suddenly had a horrifying realisation. I had adapted to watching diving and it had taken me about three or four games to realise. The game has turned for the worst and this was highlighted in 2006, but not even spoken of in 2010. So it isn't just me that has adapted to this way of football, the whole of England appears to be under this spell.

So, when I heard that a moral panic has now started in regards to leg-breaking tackles, I was shocked. Yes, there have been a couple of broken legs recently, but hasn't there always been? Defenders will make mistakes, it is the same as a striker missing a simple opportunity in front of goal, except the consequences for these mis-timed challenge is much bigger. The worst thing for me is, some of these challenges which are breaking legs aren't even that bad, it just happens to have created a bad injury.

Before Nigel De Jong made that challenge recently I thought he was a superb defensive midfielder. I still think he is one of the best, because his job is to protect the back four and his tackling does it really well.

As far as managers go, the managers job is to motivate a team. They don't tell their players to injure other players. If I had a pound for everytime before a game I heard the words: "Get stuck in!!" A professional footballer can't play at his best without competitiveness, and with competitiveness comes this will to win and players will be pumped up before games, the managers job is to make sure they are ready for these matches.

So, before we make this beautiful game any worse, let us keep these tackles. Because we can highlight the awful challenges, but we never highlight sensational tackles and players like Nigel De Jong give us those challenges week in, week out.

I don't know about you, but I don't want a next generation of English footballers to be diving, non-competitive players. Let us not turn football into a non-contact sport.

Tottenham Hotspur - Are they a Champions League side?

Being a Spurs fan myself this is something I'm questioning every time I watch them. But is it actually possible that Tottenham Hotspur are good enough to be a consistent Champions League side?

The first issue to address is that there is a big chance that this will be the one year that Spurs have an opportunity in the competition simply because Manchester City have the millions to create a top four side and in the early stages have already shown their quality, by defeating the mighty Chelsea. So, with this being the case, should they be putting everything into this competition, or does Harry Redknapp believe his players have the ability to challenge in the league and push to the later stages of the Champions League?

Well, he clearly showed his belief in the side when he said at the beginning of the season that Spurs are capable of challenging for the title. At that point I doubt he was aware that he would lose Michael Dawson, Jermaine Defoe and Gomes to injury. Because that is what happens when Spurs look like they are going to be successful, something happens. I mean you only have to look back to that dreaded game against West Ham, where we just had to win to clinch fourth, but it was as if someone span a wheel of misfortune and stopped it on food poisoning. Although quite regularly after a spin it lands on injuries.

With this in mind, I was shocked last year when we actually managed to hold on to the much-wanted Champions League spot. What was an even bigger shock was a certain dutchman wondering into White Hart Lane at the end of the transfer window. Rafael Van der Vaart has been incredible, but again I'm sit here thinking, when is it all going to go wrong?

It turns out, there is a consistent problem. I believe the problem with the club is the lack of depth in defence. Ledley King is one of the best centre-backs in the country, but a chronic knee problem and a hamstring injury here and there makes him someone Spurs can't rely on. Michael Dawson, Sebastian Bassong and Younes Kaboul are effectively our consistent available centre-backs. I can see potential in the first two, but Kaboul at the back has been a worry for me. I am forgetting Vedran Corluka, but his lack of pace rules him out. With Dawson injured, anyone running at our back two at the minute is a worry. The full-back positions don't fill me with confidence either, unless Gareth Bale is at left-back who is looking extremely promising. But for the minute, it's Benoit Assou-Ekotto who I actually think I a good player, but not Champions League I wouldn't think. I am pleased that Alan Hutton is being given a run in the first team because Corluka again isn't a bad player, but a right-back with that pace is scary.

Verdict: Not a Champions League defence.

The defence may not be quite up to scratch, but the midfield we have at the club is extremely encouraging. Tom Huddlestone is one of the best passers of a football in the league and he can't half strike a ball. The fact that he is now being given a chance with England excites me, I honestly believe he should be starting ahead of Gareth Barry. Off-form Aaron Lennon can be a quality winger, but since the World Cup his performances have been ordinary. Still, he is worthy of Champions League status, because his pace can rip apart any full-back. Gareth Bale, what an unbelievable turnaround in his Tottenham career. From a long run of bench-warming, to the first name on the team sheet. There is no question this man is Champions League status. We haven't seen much of Luka Modric this season, partly due to injury, but we know what the little Croatian can do. Vision, technique, composure, just a few attributes which make Modric Champions League status. With the likes of Giovani, Jenas, Palacios and Sandro waiting in the wings, we have healthy competition in midfield. I didn't mention David Bentley in that list simply because, unfortunately, his better years I fear are behind him and his continuous lack of first team football will continue for a while.

Verdict: A Champions League midfield.

I know what you're thinking, why haven't I mentioned Rafael Van der Vaart? Well we have all seen what he can do. Sitting in the hole next to Peter Crouch, £8million for this player looks an absolute bargain. He has the exact Champions League experience which the side need. Basically, Harry Redknapp has signed exactly the right player, shame it wasn't a centre-back, but it'll do.

Verdict: Rafael Van der Vaart was a sensational signing.

Now for the strikers. Bean-pole Peter Crouch is becoming the main target man at Spurs but sometimes encourages pump-it football. But, it works. The fans love him and he is always a problem for defenders in the air, so is certainly worthy of Champions League status. Jermaine Defoe, another one side-lined at the moment, has certainly shown his best in the last year. Since his move back to Spurs from Portsmouth, he has been scoring goals galore. It will be interesting to see what Redknapp does when he and Van der Vaart are fit, exciting times for fans I should think. Roman Pavlyuchenko, my famous look-a-like, has that ability to come on and score. The Russian is the ultimate super-sub, doesn't tend to perform when he starts, but that goal against Young Boys was incredible. He is borderline Champions League status, but I've warmed to him, not just because he looks like me, but that does help. Robbie Keane will always give you 100 per cent, but I think his best days are behind him now. But the thing with Keane is, he will never give up.

Verdict: If you add Van der Vaart in as well, this is Champions League quality. Without, it is borderline, but if Defoe is fit and on form, possibly Champions League status.

Goalkeeper Gomes has good experience and is reasonably solid. Yes, he does enjoy coming out for maybe more balls than needed, but overall I would say he is Champions League status. Carlo Cudicini is a superb back-up, with all the experience and good handling, he is certainly worthy. The only slight worry is who is next in line, but for the moment, it isn't a massive issue.

Verdict: Champions League goalkeepers.

So, what did we learn? This team has Champions League players, but I fear that the defence we have at the moment is where we will lose games. In terms of being a consistent Champions League side, I think buying an experienced centre-back who has Champions League games under his belt should be the next target. This all depends on how consistent Manchester City can be with their new, improved squad and of course Liverpool, but that's a new topic to open at another time.